Snow Day!

Like most places on the east coast, we got a ton of snow this weekend! Miraculously, Anil is off work for four days in a row, and so am I, so we're taking advantage of the time we still have to lounge around together. We made a big breakfast this morning and started in on our DVDs of "Mad Men." I did some Thanksgiving weekend sale shopping at Best Buy for TV-on-DVD sets for when we're hunkering down with the baby, but I gave all but this one set to my friend who recently had a baby so her and her husband could watch them and prevent us from diving in too early. We've never been on the Mad Men train though, so I thought we could get a head start and get into it now while we can still focus and watch one entire episode straight through. In the afternoon we took Bailey out to play in the snow and took a bunch of pictures with our fabulous new camera (the difference from our old one is amazing--totally worth splurging on a new one). Tonight we're making chili and reinforcing the dents our butts (mine particularly these days) are making in the couch. Tomorrow we're going to venture downtown and walk through Boston Common as we do a few last-minute holiday errands. I figure we should take advantage of this snow fall now since even though it'll continue to snow through March up here, it's not likely that we'll be able to be out in it as freely as we are now. And there are lots of lights and decorations up in the Commons and downtown--part of what I love about being in the city for the holidays.

Here are Anil and Bailey, on our way to the park.

Me, again being thankful for my warm coat that zips over my belly, maternity jeans, and boots that still fit my 1/2 size larger feet.

This picture is hilarious--it's Bailey mid-roll over. He loves playing frisbee in the show and we got some great shots of that too, but this is my favorite. Check out his winter boots! Anil found them for him last year when we realized the havoc that the salt on the snowy/icy sidewalks was doing to the pads on his paws. He looks so adorable with his winter boots, and his feet stay protected and warm.

One reason we got this new camera is for the shutter/release time (or something that sounds like that!)--the interval between clicking the button and image being captured. It was a bit long on my old camera, as observed by Caitlin, my photographer extraordinaire friend who I put in charge of my camera at our Charlottesville baby shower. When I wrote before that I was thinking about whether we should splurge on a new camera, she served up a big affirmative, largely for that reason of photo lag time. She has a young cousin and made the excellent point that when you're trying to capture the movements or facial expressions of a squirrely and mercurial baby, seconds matter. This new camera (on Caitlin's recommendation: Sony CyberShot W290) makes a world of difference, as you can see here. It got a clear and focused shot of our crazy dog mid rollover in the snow! If it can do that for Bailey, we'll be all set for the baby.

holiday photo montage, part 1

Life has continued to stay busy in our neck of the woods these past two weeks. In lieu of taking the countless hours it would take my almost-8-months-pregnant brain to form sentences of satisfying wit and coherence, I'm going to post a bunch of photos. Enjoy!

Last Thursday was Anil's residency department's holiday party, so I finally got to wear the one maternity dress that I bought back in August. Paired with my panel-over-the-belly leggings and extendable calf boots (thank you Steve Madden), and made shiny with a scarf my mother-in-law gave me last Christmas and a necklace my sister-in-law gave me a few years ago (thank goodness for my in-laws or I might have nothing to snazz up my perpetually casual wardrobe when I need it!), I think I pulled the look of a Merry Pregnant Christmas off pretty well.

Here is Anil and me at the party. He cleans up pretty well too!

Here is the belly at 34 (34!!!) weeks. Anil said I looked like a pirate in my striped shirt and black cap. I was wearing the hat and boots because we were headed out to Starbucks. The photo below is of me near our destination in my awesome size large Patagonia down sweater jacket (women's) that zips fabulously over my belly and doesn't make me look like I'm wearing my husband's clothes. Thank goodness my boots from last year still fit--they're the best winter boots ever. They're by Ugg but are waterproof and super sturdy (while still being warm and fuzzy on the inside).

big weekend for a big Sara

Internet, I have a very exciting announcement. I stayed out till midnight last Friday. MIDNIGHT! I haven’t done that in months, no exaggeration. Somehow the stars aligned and I kind of felt like my normal self again; more tired, more sober, but not so excessively pregnant for the first time in recent memory. We met our college friend Andrew in Harvard Square for his birthday, and for all the sense I can make of it, the combination of a quiet restaurant, a great bar table by the window, good service and water refills, awesome food, and great company made the hours fly by. All of those perks translate into the following for my current experience: no yelling, no overheating, no dehydrated wait for refills because the server doesn’t know how to replenish anything but beer, and no dismay and discomfort at greasy food that seemed like a good idea at the time because Daedalus has nightly risotto specials—Friday’s being so temping that we each ordered it. And hanging out with someone that we’ve known for so long made the evening comfortable and fun, I think because I wasn’t expending any extra energy on ignoring physical discomfort (see above) or trying to play off social shortcomings without any social lubricant. These days I don’t have that extra reserve of energy, and it was refreshing to not even need it.

The next day, however, Anil and I had a “newborn essentials” class that I wanted to sleep through after coming home so late. I wanted someone to swaddle me and put me in a crib. But I stayed awake and alert for the most part. We had our own baby doll to practice with for the entire class, and I had Anil hold her since I currently don’t have a lap (when I sat her on my belly she interfered with my line of vision). I’ve now diapered a doll, though I have yet to diaper an actual squirming baby; same for swaddling. This week we have infant CPR and a breastfeeding class. I scheduled all of our classes in a four-week chunk because we knew what Anil’s schedule would be and that he’d consistently have Saturdays off, which hasn’t ever been the case for two and half years of residency thus far. It’s been predictably overwhelming to have so many classes all at once, and I think we’re both starting to feel daunted with all that we have to do on the baby frontier. But Anil is almost done with his current rotation for which he's had to commute an hour south, and with a better schedule just a week away we're hopeful about getting a lot done in the near future.

That said, I don’t know if “nesting” is supposed to be so all-encompassing, as it feels to us right now. We’re not making a nursery per se since we’ll move from our apartment five to six months after the baby is born. We’re starting with the crib in our room, and we’re clearing out a side of our loft-style apartment for the changing table, La-Z-Boy-turned-rocking chair, and bookshelves-turned-dresser area. But it’s all a huge mess right now and has been for at least a month, because we have all the baby gear that we’ve received as gifts piled on top of "life before baby" things that need to get boxed up and put into storage—basically we have two “rooms” piled on top of each other. Nesting for us has also come to include these training classes we started with Bailey, each of which just seems to bring up another issue that we hadn’t even thought about working on. Add to all that the fact that the one of us who is still mobile in all senses of the word is also working 14 hour days, and it’s slow going around here. We really didn’t plan on doing all that much to “nest,” but it seems like there are more and more things that are coming up, in the aim of achieving more simplicity once the baby comes, that are anything but simple in the short term.

Speaking of simple, I think the simplest pleasure up here in New England is the first real snow fall, and we had that on Saturday. Anil, my friend Katie, and I went down the street to one of our favorite neighborhood haunts, the Publick House, to eat their renown mac & cheese and watch the snow fall onto Beacon Street, recently anointed in holiday lights. While I didn’t make it very late this second night in a row, it was the perfect way to celebrate the snow and to cozy up to the winter. And for the first time, I wore long sleeves in a restaurant without being miserably hot. Thank you winter!

That's Katie and me from our table. It's a bit blurry because we took it sans flash to show the show outside. We took what look to be great shots outside too, in the snow, but my camera must have been on the wrong setting because I can't get them to upload. I'm having panicked thoughts about my camera these days too. (Is that considered nesting? feeling like everything must be in place before baby arrives or else?!) It's been taking blurry pictures for reasons I can't discern, and now these perfect snow pictures are defective. I keep thinking, "What if that was a baby picture? What if that was the baby picture?!" Part of me wants to buy a new camera just to make sure we're covered.

Also, here is a shot of me and the belly last weekend at 32 weeks. Not the best in terms of contrast; I feel like the belly is much more dramatic in real life. (Again--is it the camera? Should I get a new one?) Or maybe it's too big to be accurately captured on film. (Scratch that--I hit "enhance" in iPhoto to lighten it and now it looks bigger!) I don't think I look nearly as big facing forward, either, but you can be the judge. I'm so happy that it's cold enough for me to wear this sweater now, and I am obsessed to an embarrassing degree with the maternity leggings that I wear with Ugg boots for part of every week.

The last Thanksgiving in which we get to eat without interruption or mashed potatoes being flung at our faces

I feel that it's only responsible, in the interest of full disclosure, to begin this post on Thanksgiving with the admission that I don't think my jeans are fitting very well. By jeans I mean my overpriced Citizens of Humanity maternity jeans and by "not fitting well" I mean my butt and/or thighs must be growing. Any suggestions for making black yoga pants look chic for the next two months? While we're at it, any suggestions for making anything look chic from this point on?

If my jeans are the casualty of our Thanksgiving day indulgences, so be it. Or, if I want to remain in denial (yes please!), I could go with my friend's suggestion that since I'm still going to the gym and doing squats and what not while carting around 25+ pounds on my belly, maybe I'm just getting quads of steel. That's what friends are for, right? Plausible means of denial.

We took advantage of this year's Thanksgiving as the last quiet one we'll have for... a while. All day we marveled that this time next year, our daughter (our daughter!!) will be eating turkey and mashed potatoes (and Bailey will be licking them off of the floor). Neither of us will have the privilege of sitting through our meal uninterrupted and we may or may not have mashed potatoes on our extremities as casualties of the cupcake's first Thanksgiving.

For this year, with no reason to even change out of pajamas (though we did, for the record, and one of us wore pants with a non-elastic waistband), we reveled in having the day completely to ourselves. Anil cooked a 10 pound turkey, made two kinds of stuffing (one is his mom's recipe which he swears by, and he made another batch for me sans giblets), green bean casserole, and two pumpkin pies. (What? Whole Foods only sells pie crust in sets of two.) We toasted with IPA and sparkling cider. While Anil cooked, I lounged in my giant-bellied glory on the couch, reading books and magazines. We watched movies, first as our feast roasted and then again as it digested. Anil even started the day off right for Bailey (because his days of being an only child are numbered and he deserved a relaxing day too) with a run, then a spa treatment--bath in the tub and nail trimming.

Here are some photos to document the labors of the day, or lack thereof in my case.

I love this photo of Anil starting the day because it shows how small our kitchen is! Notice that one hand is on the counter on one side while the other reaches in a drawer on the other--the kitchen is more narrow than Anil's wingspan.

Anil and Bailey both waited eagerly for the turkey to roast. I swear I didn't stage this.

Anil carving the turkey, mmmm...

Oh, and while all that work was going on in the kitchen? I was busy being a baby vessel... stretched out on the couch propping a magazine on my belly.

Finally, here is our feast. I cleared the table of mounds of baby gear so that we wouldn't have to eat on the coffee table in front of the TV; I did contribute. Dinner was simple and perfect.

I guess technically it was the baby's first Thanksgiving since she did get her share of it, but I'm sure she'll enjoy next year's much more. We'll enjoy next year's too, but in a very different way. So for now, I'm thankful for my amazing husband who literally functioned like an entire restaurant staff all day--doing all of the cooking and cleaning. I'm thankful for leftovers, then thankful for the neighborhood Italian place that we ate at tonight when we needed food that wasn't beige. I'm thankful that Whole Foods sells pie crusts in twosies so that we still have leftovers of orange, even if it threatens my designer maternity jeans. I'm just trying to remember to be thankful for this calm before the crazy baby storm, when even though I can't tie my shoes without my face turing red from lack of oxygen, I can still put my feet up and watch a movie and only have to get up every half hour because I have to pee, not because someone else did. We both relished having such a peaceful day together.

turkey time!

I just ordered a turkey from Whole Foods, for Anil and me (and Bailey), that is bigger than our baby will be at birth. It's about 10 pounds, which I need to assume is bigger than the baby will be; otherwise I might as well go ahead and schedule my c-section right now. We've been debating what to do for Thanksgiving and decided to just go ahead and overdo it, even though it's just the two of us (or three or four if you count the dog and baby... but can I mention here that "eating for two" really isn't even funny anymore because my stomach is being compressed by the baby's studio apartment). Anil wouldn't even hear of getting a turkey breast instead of a whole entire turkey, and for anyone who knows the size of our kitchen, you can only imagine what kind of adventure this will be.

Somewhat prepared childbirth

Anil and I spent all of Saturday at a childbirth class. If you’ve been a recipient of an email or text that I’ve sent containing the words “childbirth class” over the past week or so, I can almost guarantee that it was followed by the word, “Yikes!”

I was nervous. Excited, but also anxious because I figured the class would make this whole birth thing feel more real, and, to be honest, I was freaked out by the promised birth video. I was the one who put my head down during the 8^th grade viewing of “The Miracle of Life.” I was momentarily traumatized by that money shot of the baby crowning in “Knocked Up”. (Wasn’t everyone? In an interview on NPR Judd Apatow admitted that that was his intention—thoughtful of him.) I turn my head away from flu shots and from getting blood drawn, and I stay relatively relaxed as long as I can’t see what’s happening. I make denial work in my favor. When I give birth, it’s not like I’m going to have a front row seat visually speaking, if you know what I mean. I'm not writing a birth plan, but if I did it would begin with "No mirrors!"

Overall though, it was anticlimactic. We took the “prepared childbirth class” versus the “natural” one, as well as the one-day versus two or more, so we probably got the most condensed version, even at 6 hours. I should note here that no one does "Lamaze" classes anymore--I've had a few people ask if that's what this class was, and I always get this picture in my head of women from the 80s in leotards going "hee hee hoooooo". Lamaze is a kind of breathing that you can do if you want, to help you through contractions, but there are also a handful of other widely-used strategies, and there are other classes that emphasize them, especially if you're hoping for an unmedicated birth. This class was much more widely focused--we went over final stages of pregnancy, labor in its different stages, how you know it's really happening and when to head to the hospital (later than I thought--not till contractions are five minutes apart, so you can labor at home for hours before you have to trade those comfy Juicy maternity pants for a hospital gown), what you might bring, and very basic differences of natural and pain-managed childbirth. And the promised birth videos.

The videos did make me feel like I was in 8^th grade again, but mainly due to the snickering and eyebrow raising going on in the room. It was hard to take them seriously most of the time. Then again, the kind of women who volunteer to have cameras pointed at their hoo-has and have their labor and delivery filmed for posterity aren’t usually going to be ones you’d meet out for drinks. Seeing someone make a face during a contraction is not what I had in mind when I dropped my credit card for a birth class, nor was a post-birth interview with the happy couple about how it was all worth it—isn’t that what TLC’s “A Baby Story” is for? Or YouTube if you’re really adventurous. I took the class because I wanted something more interactive and dynamic than a book or video, so at times I was more annoyed than anxious when staring at the screen.

What was ultimately helpful, though, was the emphasis on teamwork, for lack of a better word. The class involved the “support person” every step of the way and emphasized how Anil will be able to help me through different stages of labor (best tip of the day: bring a toothbrush to the hospital so laboring woman won’t want to gauge your eyes out if you breath tuna sub in her face), and how he can be a part of everything, from start to finish—how his support, physically and emotionally, will actively help me through labor.

Anil knows all of the medical steps, and I had to hit his leg to get him to stop texting during the c-section video, but the way that the class tapped into his involvement was a nice surprise. He’s been working a lot lately, and feeling frustrated that he can’t do anything to ease the pain in my ribcage at night when he does happen to be home, and let’s face it—he’s not the one with physical symptoms that demand he slow down his lifestyle but he still has to negotiate the changes in mine, so I think he’s felt like too much of a bystander lately, because nothing’s really changed for him yet except me. And since we don’t have the kind of schedule where we get home from work and cook dinner together or spend Saturdays at the movies or something reassuringly routine like that, it’s been hard to connect from two different places lately, beyond being task-oriented in errands like The Container Store (oooh romantic!) or complaining about how we’re bored by this season of “Heroes” that’s backing up on our DVR when we have a day or night off together.

In one video, however, it’s suggested that you take a walk during early labor. A fine idea (if you aren’t due in Jan/Feb in Boston), until the man remarks, “Taking a walk was really relaxing for me.” Really? Really?! Because your lower half wasn’t trying to secede from your torso. I get that the guy can be nervous at the onset of labor too, but please. Maybe that will give us something to laugh about when I am in labor, and that’s a good coping strategy to hang onto. I also hope they don't try to present my placenta like a tray of brownies; the instructor swore that was just for the video.

After the class, we kept the good vibe going by getting take-out Indian food and watching "Away We Go." And making and eating an almost entire batch of cookies. Go teamwork!

baby shower extravaganza!

In the midst of all this complaining and “life is changing” blah blah blah soul searching, I do want to take time to go back and write about how wonderful our baby showers have been, and how they’ve made both Anil and me more excited for what’s to come and so appreciative of our friends and family that are along for the ride with us.

[I should note here that I’m writing this in Starbucks, with my laptop on my legs and my iphone resting on my belly (and when the baby moves, the phone moves)… I am that pregnant woman. I’m also wearing stretchy pants. And I ate a huge pumpkin scone then had to wipe the crumbs off my belly. Just wanted to give you that mental picture.]

At the end of October Anil and I flew to Virginia for the weekend for two baby showers—one with my extended family in Richmond, then one with our friends in Charlottesville. Since we won’t be making it back there for any holidays this year, I was so looking forward to seeing the army of women that make up my family in Virginia. Most holidays for us look like bridal or baby showers just based on the sheer concentration of estrogen, with a smattering of boys and men here and there. My mom's two sisters also came, from opposite sides of Virginia (Maryland and North Carolina), so that was also a treat. The bummer was that my cousin who’s in college wasn’t going to be able to make it, so I was sad to not get to see her. But lo and behold, she surprised all of us and walked in the front door. It was a great reminder of how we all look forward to these kinds of family gatherings, and of how I’ll be able to look forward to them with the cupcake as she grows up and adds to the giant pool of estrogen herself.

When I was planning my wedding, I found that I’d look forward to things like bridal showers, but when they actually came about, I’d start to feel self-conscious about all the attention and didn’t relax as much as I’d expected. In contrast, baby showers felt like being a kid again and having a birthday party. For one thing, the presents aren’t cutlery and plates; they’re onesies and baby socks (I have as soft spot for baby socks, something about how they evoke baby toenails) and stuffed animals. Also, there wasn’t any pressure to stay slim and wear a tight dress any time soon, so I could completely indulge in all the sweets.

And let me tell you about the sweet stuff. Two of my cousins have started a cake and cookie business in Richmond, so they made an adorable pink bunny cake for the shower and a bunch of decorated cookies too. They all tasted as good as they looked. Since I can’t drink, I was so looking forward to the sugar of the weekend, and it did not disappoint. Here are photos of the cake and cookies. The bunny is from our crib theme, Pottery Barn Kids’ “B is for Bunny” collection, and, yes, they made it too. I think they should go on one of those Food Network cake challenge shows (cakes are so hot right now).

Babymamma and baby grandparents in Richmond.

The day after the family shower, we had the co-ed friends shower in Charlottesville, and, incredibly, the surprise guests kept on coming. First, we just loved telling people in Boston that we were having a baby shower at our friends’ brewery, not only because of the street cred we get for having friends who own a brewery, but because that’s not the go-to place for baby showers for most couples. But Internet, we are not most couples. Our friends Mandi and Taylor built and opened Blue Mountain Brewery right about when we moved from Charlottesville to Boston, and it has these amazing mountain views and a deck for outdoor seating (fireplace inside for cozy winters too), so we thought it would be a great place to gather just a few friends and visit. What we got instead was the rock star treatment. They set up a separate roped-off area for us to have food and drinks, had barrels to put presents on, chairs for people to sit in if they wanted, and basically created a little VIP Shukla shower area so we could all visit and play away from the bustle of the other customers. It was beyond cool.

But then. THEN. Out walked three people who we did not expect to see. What’s the easiest way to set off a pregnant woman’s hormones? Have three of her favorite people fly in from across the entire country and appear at her baby shower. I was glad to have my giant sunglasses on to hide my wet eyes! During our last year living in Charlottesville, I did happy hours every week with this amazing group of girls. It was like a lifeline for the five of us through different personal challenges and transitions, an overabundance of beer and laughter every week. Then Anil and I moved to Boston, another couple moved to Utah, and another moved to Portland, Oregon. These are the people who walked out of the brewery in Charlottesville when they were supposed to still be in Utah and Oregon! It was fantastic. The whole shower was fantastic. So many of our favorite people were all in one place that day, including friends that Anil has known since childhood, friends from college, and from our four years of living in Charlottesville for med school. We felt so lucky to have such strong connections with people that we think so highly of and with a place that is so unique. Below is a photo we took before the festivities got underway of our big original Charlottesville crew.

Here are some other highlights. (The photos are small, so click if you want to see more closely.) First, the cupcakes, of which I ate about five.

For gifts, we asked people to bring a favorite book on which they could inscribe a note so that when we read to the cupcake we'll think of our friends. So we got a running start to her library, which of course is hugely exciting for lit-major mama. We also got a head start to her being the coolest baby on the block. Check out these baby Chuck Taylors!

A special guest at the shower was a certain 20 year-old who I happened to meet in a college women and middle school girls mentoring program during my fourth year at UVA. Caitlin was 12 then, and now she's 20 and at my baby shower! She's a second year at UVA and also, among a ridiculous list of talents, is an artist of onsies. She hand-painted six different onesies--seriously! They're washable and totally wearable. Click on this photo to see the onesies in larger scale (IOU a better close-up photo when I unpack all the shower gifts!) and she has more at her web site, La Petit Lapan (she's also a French minor). Among her long list of accomplishments, though, the one I'm most excited about is babysitter extraordinaire.

That's the brewery and outdoor deck in the background, and in the foreground, Blue Mountain Brewery onesies! These are officially from Hayden, the owners' son, so that our cupcake can represent her soon-to-be favorite spot.

After all this, (and I know it’s ridiculous to have another shower, but... ) we do live in Boston, and my friends here wanted to do something too. So my friend Aisha, who I’ve known since college and now lives five minutes away, volunteered her apartment and my Bostonian BFF Katie claimed all cooking responsibilities.

I think a friend at this shower said it best, when I told her that I’d been apprehensive about everyone having fun because not many invitees really knew each other coming into the shower; she replied, “Yeah but you and Anil always have such cool friends, everyone is interesting and laid back so we always have fun.” That’s a paraphrase, but I think it’s so true. I looked around the room and saw a fashion designer, an opera singer, an anesthesiologist, an ER doctor, a social worker and awesome mom of a one-year old (who behaved beyond beautifully), a linguist who just finished her PhD, an aspiring professional chef, and I could go on and on but then I’d just be bragging. Thanks for being cool, friends!

And because there was now a theme of surprises, I shouldn’t have been so shocked when my friend from high school (aforementioned fashion designer) walked in the door, having taken a bus that morning from New York City. But I was shocked! So again, it was a day to really celebrate all of the wonderful people that Anil and I have been lucky enough to know over the years, and to be amazed and thankful at how excited they are for us and our crazy future of parenthood.

THANK YOU EVERYONE!!!

Now I just have a million thank you notes to write. And a lot of really adorable baby socks to wash. Couldn’t be happier to do both.