Gah... I know, I haven't kept up again. And Maya's probably going to wake up from her nap soon. How people write novels "when the baby naps" is completely beyond me. My quick explanation is that I just keep vacillating between what I want this blog to be. I found it easy and fun to write about myself during pregnancy, but I find it more challenging and a little bit unsettling to write about Maya now. I think it's creepy that someone named "Romeo" follows my blog, and you can't block followers any more, and even if I did, it's useless because surely an even more unsettling number of unnamed people like that can check in any time they want. It's just the reality of the Internet. And I'm struggling with what I'm okay putting up for public consumption. Not just what I want people to know/see about my daughter, but what I think is worth seeing and reading, and what I'm interested in writing.
I keep going back and forth between, "I should just try to write things that'll get published, that I'll get paid for, and keep my life off the Internet" and "But it's nice to chronicle our adventures together (while pretending that no one creepy is out there?), and the more I write informally here, the better chance I have of coming up with something that could actually get published one day." Then I think, if I'm going to commit to the blog, I want to go the whole way. I want to make it search-able from Google. Get myself into the mommy blog network.
It all connects with my general vague angst about what I'm doing about my career, my self that exists beyond being a mom. I'm a little lost on that front. I decided I was going to write as a freelancer, but it's a pretty big ramp-up. I'm still working on it. I'm working on all this.
And yep, Maya is up. Just wanted to leave an update in case anyone is checking! Hopefully I'll figure something out soon.
